Steven B.
Founder of Chrysalis
"Chrysalis was inspired by God, created out of my own personal journey.
As a young teenager, I saw my life crumble to pieces, destroyed by bullying, crushing depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, and resulting addictions. I know all too well what it is like to be told that you're ugly, that you're not good at anything, that nobody likes you. The really painful thing about bullying, is that there is often an element of perceived truth that it is based upon. In my case, I wasn't particularly good looking, I was awkward and clumsy, I couldn't keep up with people in sports and other physical activities, and I didn't seem to be naturally talented at anything. I played a lot of sports and games and such, but I was never very good at those things. I seemed to lose at everything. To a certain extent it even seemed like I was losing at life itself, like everything was beating me into the ground. I wasn't successful with school either, and I rebelled against school and authority. The problem is, the more you lose, the more you feel like a loser. The more you fail, the more you feel like a failure. I know now what it is like to have your self-worth completely stripped away, to feel so worthless and lonely and ashamed, so completely empty, that you don't wan't to live anymore.
What do you do with a situation like that? For me, I ended up coming to believe in God. He saved me at a time when I was so far gone that it's a miracle I am still here today. God gave me purpose, showing me that I could help others. He gave me passion, when He got me to try auditioning for theatre for the first time in my life and I learned how much I loved to act, to perform. More than anything, He picked me up when I was the most broken, the most unworthy. He picked me up and washed me clean with a love so powerful that I could physically feel it, a love that was absolutely 100% unconditional, a love that set me free. I didn't need to prove myself to Him. I didn't need to be a winner. I didn't need to be a success. I didn't need to be talented. I didn't need to be anything. He loved me just as I was. In His eyes, I was valued!
Over the course of about ten years, God used theatre and youth work to help me to heal and rebuild, slowly recovering from trauma, destructive habits, destructive mindsets, etc. I slowly lost my self-consciousness and self-loathing, I learned how to bravely take chances and not be too hard on myself when they didn't work out to the ideal standard of excellence. My confidence was rebuilt, I learned to open my heart and trust other people again, I slowly learned healthier social skills, and some very badly broken relationships were healed and rebuilt. I also made progress in treating an underlying chronic illness that doctors had misdiagnosed for years.
A few years after God first led me to theatre, He provided an opportunity for me to teach and direct theatre at a local educational program for homeschoolers. After directing my first two youth theatre productions there, I was told that I was going to be let go at the end of the year, as the program looked for somebody older and more experienced. Shortly thereafter, I was sitting in one of my final teachers meetings, feeling a little bit like a failure again, when all of a sudden God inspired me to combine my purpose for helping others with my passion for theatre, by starting a "non-profit Christian youth theatre program". Thus, Chrysalis was born.
The name "Chrysalis" is symbolic of God's love, symbolic for what this program is all about. A chrysalis in real life is a cocoon, an experience so safe and sheltered and nurturing, that a vulnerable little caterpillar can blossom into a magnificent butterfly. That's what our program is all about. We see something magnificent and beautiful in every student. We strive to provide them with sheltered, safe, nurturing experiences that allow that inner strength and beauty to blossom and burst forth. We help them to develop the skills they need to carry them through life as they soar higher and farther than they ever dared dream was possible.
Founder of Chrysalis
"Chrysalis was inspired by God, created out of my own personal journey.
As a young teenager, I saw my life crumble to pieces, destroyed by bullying, crushing depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, and resulting addictions. I know all too well what it is like to be told that you're ugly, that you're not good at anything, that nobody likes you. The really painful thing about bullying, is that there is often an element of perceived truth that it is based upon. In my case, I wasn't particularly good looking, I was awkward and clumsy, I couldn't keep up with people in sports and other physical activities, and I didn't seem to be naturally talented at anything. I played a lot of sports and games and such, but I was never very good at those things. I seemed to lose at everything. To a certain extent it even seemed like I was losing at life itself, like everything was beating me into the ground. I wasn't successful with school either, and I rebelled against school and authority. The problem is, the more you lose, the more you feel like a loser. The more you fail, the more you feel like a failure. I know now what it is like to have your self-worth completely stripped away, to feel so worthless and lonely and ashamed, so completely empty, that you don't wan't to live anymore.
What do you do with a situation like that? For me, I ended up coming to believe in God. He saved me at a time when I was so far gone that it's a miracle I am still here today. God gave me purpose, showing me that I could help others. He gave me passion, when He got me to try auditioning for theatre for the first time in my life and I learned how much I loved to act, to perform. More than anything, He picked me up when I was the most broken, the most unworthy. He picked me up and washed me clean with a love so powerful that I could physically feel it, a love that was absolutely 100% unconditional, a love that set me free. I didn't need to prove myself to Him. I didn't need to be a winner. I didn't need to be a success. I didn't need to be talented. I didn't need to be anything. He loved me just as I was. In His eyes, I was valued!
Over the course of about ten years, God used theatre and youth work to help me to heal and rebuild, slowly recovering from trauma, destructive habits, destructive mindsets, etc. I slowly lost my self-consciousness and self-loathing, I learned how to bravely take chances and not be too hard on myself when they didn't work out to the ideal standard of excellence. My confidence was rebuilt, I learned to open my heart and trust other people again, I slowly learned healthier social skills, and some very badly broken relationships were healed and rebuilt. I also made progress in treating an underlying chronic illness that doctors had misdiagnosed for years.
A few years after God first led me to theatre, He provided an opportunity for me to teach and direct theatre at a local educational program for homeschoolers. After directing my first two youth theatre productions there, I was told that I was going to be let go at the end of the year, as the program looked for somebody older and more experienced. Shortly thereafter, I was sitting in one of my final teachers meetings, feeling a little bit like a failure again, when all of a sudden God inspired me to combine my purpose for helping others with my passion for theatre, by starting a "non-profit Christian youth theatre program". Thus, Chrysalis was born.
The name "Chrysalis" is symbolic of God's love, symbolic for what this program is all about. A chrysalis in real life is a cocoon, an experience so safe and sheltered and nurturing, that a vulnerable little caterpillar can blossom into a magnificent butterfly. That's what our program is all about. We see something magnificent and beautiful in every student. We strive to provide them with sheltered, safe, nurturing experiences that allow that inner strength and beauty to blossom and burst forth. We help them to develop the skills they need to carry them through life as they soar higher and farther than they ever dared dream was possible.
What Inspires Me
There are two memories from my life that particularly inspire me:
1. The way that God loved me unconditionally and forgave me and never gave up on me, the way He followed me into the darkest darkness just so He could be there for me, so He could rescue me, so He could pick me up and hold me close and wash me clean and carry me safely back home. That is the kind of person I want to be for others.
2. When I was seeking a first step to rebuilding myself and my life after God had rescued me, God encouraged me to try theatre. I had been judged and mocked and criticized and torn down so many times in my life, that I was a little bit nervous and intimidated about the idea of walking into a room full of strangers, to get up on a stage and allow strangers to judge me and decide whether or not to give me a role in their show. But God gave me the courage to do it, and when I walked all alone into that theatre, something amazing happened...
As I walked through the door, I found myself in a crowded hallway, packed with other students waiting to audition. Everybody was talking and laughing and having a good time together. It was a wonderfully comfortable family sort of environment. I didn't see any of the kinds of invisible social walls that are all too common. There was no stiffness or awkwardness, no weird vibes, no people clearly being excluded. Everybody seemed free and open and comfortable. Nobody seemed concerned at all about what other people might think of them. They were just living freely in the moment, being their true authentic selves. I didn't really know anybody, but I didn't have a chance to feel awkward or intimidated, because they immediately welcomed me in with open arms, accepting me into their group, their family as it were, and what they were doing. I had never experienced anything like that. It was amazing. That made me feel like I had come home to a family I never knew I had. That helped give me the courage to do my audition, which went much better than I had expected, and then I got to read parts of the show and perform them with various other auditioning students. That was so much fun.
For the first time, I had discovered something I really enjoyed, something that felt like a part of me, something that felt right, something that felt natural, something that I might even be good at. That whole audition experience was one of the best days of my life, and I was overjoyed later when I found out that I had been given a part in the show. The prospect of getting to go back and continue working with that group of people, of doing something so wonderful, was absolutely exhilarating. That day and the subsequent experience of rehearsals and performances changed my life forever. Now I want to create that same kind of experience for others.
There are two memories from my life that particularly inspire me:
1. The way that God loved me unconditionally and forgave me and never gave up on me, the way He followed me into the darkest darkness just so He could be there for me, so He could rescue me, so He could pick me up and hold me close and wash me clean and carry me safely back home. That is the kind of person I want to be for others.
2. When I was seeking a first step to rebuilding myself and my life after God had rescued me, God encouraged me to try theatre. I had been judged and mocked and criticized and torn down so many times in my life, that I was a little bit nervous and intimidated about the idea of walking into a room full of strangers, to get up on a stage and allow strangers to judge me and decide whether or not to give me a role in their show. But God gave me the courage to do it, and when I walked all alone into that theatre, something amazing happened...
As I walked through the door, I found myself in a crowded hallway, packed with other students waiting to audition. Everybody was talking and laughing and having a good time together. It was a wonderfully comfortable family sort of environment. I didn't see any of the kinds of invisible social walls that are all too common. There was no stiffness or awkwardness, no weird vibes, no people clearly being excluded. Everybody seemed free and open and comfortable. Nobody seemed concerned at all about what other people might think of them. They were just living freely in the moment, being their true authentic selves. I didn't really know anybody, but I didn't have a chance to feel awkward or intimidated, because they immediately welcomed me in with open arms, accepting me into their group, their family as it were, and what they were doing. I had never experienced anything like that. It was amazing. That made me feel like I had come home to a family I never knew I had. That helped give me the courage to do my audition, which went much better than I had expected, and then I got to read parts of the show and perform them with various other auditioning students. That was so much fun.
For the first time, I had discovered something I really enjoyed, something that felt like a part of me, something that felt right, something that felt natural, something that I might even be good at. That whole audition experience was one of the best days of my life, and I was overjoyed later when I found out that I had been given a part in the show. The prospect of getting to go back and continue working with that group of people, of doing something so wonderful, was absolutely exhilarating. That day and the subsequent experience of rehearsals and performances changed my life forever. Now I want to create that same kind of experience for others.
Click the play button above to watch an NBC Bay Area news video about Steven and Chrysalis, or CLICK HERE for a written version.